There are brief moments in our lives where we are thrust out of ourselves and granted to see life as exceptionally magnificent, but also too close to touch, and impossible to fathom. For some people, it is love, poetry, friendship or maybe a film which causes us to see our world as a beautiful and cohesive whole for a fleeting and mysterious moment. For Andrei, it is the sky over a battlefield, a few notes in a song, and the cold grip of death. What do these moments of profound insight and deep emotion show us about life?
“After dinner Natasha, at Prince Andrei’s request, went to the clavichord and began to sing. Prince Andrei stood by the window, talking with the ladies, and listened to her. In the middle of a phrase, Prince Andrei fell silent and suddenly felt choked with tears, which he did not know was possible for him. He looked at the singing Natasha and something new and happy occurred in his soul. He was happy, but at the same time he felt sad. He had decidedly nothing to weep about, but he was ready to weep. About what? His former love? The little princess? His disappointments? . . . His hopes for the future? . . . Yes and no. The main thing he wanted to weep about was a sudden, vivid awareness of the terrible opposition between something infinitely great and undefinable that was in him, and something narrow and fleshly that he himself, and even she, was. This opposition tormented him and gladdened him while she sang.”
–– Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace, trans. Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky. (New York: Alfred A. Knope, 2007), 467.
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